Damaged Goods

Why do we torture ourselves? Physically but even more so… mentally.

Where does this hunger for bitter masochism stem from? Do we all secretly suffer from masochistic personality disorders? – I am generalizing here in a rather hypocritical attempt to alleviate the burden off my discomfited conscience. Perhaps my questionable morals would in some reader’s mind find a bit of sympathy …

Why is it that when one is on the verge of relationship ecstasy from which flows a beacon of peace and mental serenity, one would actively jeopardise the whole package brushing elbows with pandora’s box of vices, throwing oneself deep into a precipice of emotional suicide. We find ourselves harvesting yet again the same sentiments that we loathe and have once promised ourselves to avoid like the plague. Insecurity, despair, pain, anger, more insecurity, nervousness, sadness, anxiety, violence – the price you pay (at the expense of your sanity) for those acts of “passion” that resemble nothing more than acts of foolish impulsive juvenile irresponsibility.
Do we all have an emotional death wish? Is it genetics or just outright stupidity? In an attempt to see how far one can experiment with his heart, soul (and immune system for that matter), are we all programmed to be sentimental fatalists? …

If our brains are in everlastingly expansion and if our DNA is evolving from a hunter-gatherer paradigm to a more sophisticated set of mental reasoning skills, when will our hormones start expressing themselves intelligently as well?

Or is the divide between our innate animal instincts and this growing “acquired” capacity to “reflect” just deepening, creating a recipe for utter disaster by which we now have the power to not only witness our emotional destruction but also judge and willfully experience it.
Whichever way one looks at it, be it environment, genetics or viral, we come into this world with an open mandate for self-torture doomed to fail emotionally; and to add insult to injury, we actually thrive on it.